Before you think that I've gone totally off the deep end, in an uncharacteristically mature moment of "pause-think" I have identified that I am in full blown PMS mode as well as dealing with some outside (non-horsey, non Boy) influences that have me primed for irritation...
Prairie was a disaster yesterday. Now, I understand that I have become wildly spoiled with my perfectly calm, talented, eager young mare without very many "challenges" or "setbacks" that aren't resolved by me not riding like a toddler strapped in a car seat. I also recognize that on a scale from 1-10, overall this horse is like a 22.5.
That being said I really, really wanted to punch her on her cute little nose last night during our ride. This was exceptionally disappointing as it was 72 degrees out, the sun was shining and I was the only person at the barn so mentally I was set up for a music-video-worthy moment of magical oneness-with-my-horse.
Perhaps setting the bar up at that standard was my first issue, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't my only one. Yes, when I got to the barn hay was just being tossed for dinner, and yes, we've determined that riding P2 after work, by herself, while everyone else is inside eating dinner results in her acting dumb and spooky and distracting herself with just about anything she can. But, we've been so darn goooood since the Mountain Trail trip, part of me was hoping that issue would be diminished. Or barring that magical change that maybe working in full sun for the first time would maybe have her sleepy and obedient.
We. fought. the. whole. time. She crossed her jaw, she flipped her head, she spooked at nothing, she spooked at nothing some more, she refused to stand still, she refused to bend to the left. she basically had her thumb in her mouth and was shouting "neener neener neener" at me the whole time.
I. wanted. to. explode.
But I didn't, I hammered out 30 minutes of CRAPPY work then called it a day. Also, I videoed it, but I'll be damned if I upload that and make myself relieve that gem of a ride more than once.
In hindsight I asked the mare to work in a circumstance that I know is difficult for her. And I asked me to be calm and patient during a time when I am no where near calm or patient... bad combo.
The only success is that I didn't go ballistic and kick/pull/scream unfairly. Kudos me.