However I'm realizing that even though I have the will to extend my Tack Ho-ing to new territory, my profound experience hunting for, researching and compulsively buying bits of leather and gorgeous boots has not, in fact, prepared me for the totally terrifying and overly marketed world of baby stuff.
I find myself feeling more like a Minister-Without-Portfolio, than a seasoned hoarder as I attempt to (quickly) educate myself on the pitfalls and virtues of what seems like endless plastic crap and a few cool Euro brands made of sustainable wood and recycled bicycles.
With horses, I have a good sense of what is trend and what is tradition. I indulge in both (obvi), but I usually do so knowing when I'm splurging on something lasting (leather) and when I'm chucking cash at the latest must have item (pads, boots, breeches...). With all this baby crap I have no idea what falls into the heirloom column and what will be squished into the recycle bin as soon as Baby grows another 1/2" or gains one more pound.
I find this sort of ignorance and inexperience mind-numbingly painful. If anything I would argue that the marketing machine behind kid stuff is even more diabolical than that of the horse world. It's not so hard to convince me that _____ item will keep my horse happier, healthier, or just cuter - and if you do convince me, well, I can guarantee that my visa has already been put on the counter.
With kiddos the fear mongering is even less subtle. In fact most things seem centered around commanding tenant to "DO THIS OR YOUR BABY WILL DIE."
Uhhhh crap. okay?
So my current conundrum is that with horses I have a decent bullshit meter. When someone says "DO THIS OR YOUR HORSE WILL DIE" I can usually pause, think "hmm... horse hasn't died yet" and then say "no." or "mehhhhh it's a cute pad/boots/bridle/bit/supplement, and it comes in my color/size/ITS PINK! so okay!"
With babies I have no frigging clue so I tend to google (terrible, don't reccomend) and then when 1,348,000 hits come up screaming about dead babies I immediately order 5 of everything.
Another problem with all this baby gear is that everything looks like some sort of Transformer to me.
I can take a double bridle and have it pulled apart, cleaned, checked for wear, conditioned and reassembled (probably with new bits, just for funsies) in no time.
But I cannot, (cannot) get the god damn stroller to cooperate, or figure out which tab goes where.
|The what goes where?|
It looks like an alien spaceship to me. Seriously.
I wish babies came in saddles, or at least had a section in the Dover Catalog next to the pony stuff. Then I'd be set.